I have a love hate relationship with the whole productivity industrial complex. Why do I call it that? Because it’s a thing. You see it all over social media and the publishing world. How to maximize time. How to get things done most efficiently. This appeals to a lot of us, especially people like me who are prone to perfectionism. Mondays are the perfect day for me to plan, strategize and make lists. I love lists. On Mondays I usually make a list called a ‘Brain Dump’. This is where I just list everything I can think of that I want to get done in the week. It helps to download all of it onto paper.

But how does God see productivity? I have been asking myself these questions lately. Going back to school has added a lot to my list and the old perfectionism rears its head when I look at the syllabi for my classes filled with hundreds of pages of reading and parameters for research papers. How to get it all done? How can I schedule my day in a way to not get behind? What about all the other responsibilities in my life? Someone has to cook dinner and clean toilets after all.

The first class I took in seminary was called “Redemption Unfolded”. The class covered the overarching story of Scripture and while the subject matter made an impact on me, the teacher also left an indelible mark. He wasn’t a professor at the seminary, but a local pastor, and this was his first class. After introductions he had us read out loud the following Scripture and meditate on it silently:

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.

Colossians 3:23

Work heartily? Yes! This was why I was in seminary. I was eager to work heartily, to read widely and deeply from authors I’d not been exposed to, to learn the original languages in order to peel back and expose the beauty and depth of God’s word, and to enjoy all kinds of theological conversations with my professors and classmates. But wait. There’s more to this command.

Work heartily as for the Lord and not for men. This is what cut me to the quick that day. The Holy Spirit put his finger so to speak on this area of my heart, this place that still needed to undergo his refining work. And this area is still under construction, two years later, as I make my way through another semester. This semester has been very difficult because of the added stress of caring for my aging parents and grieving the loss of my father-in-law. As I saw the amount of work in front of me, I began to panic, and I grasped for ways to perfectly organize my time and my assignments. Being organized is good, but panicking is not and the Lord showed me exactly where that panic was rooted – in idolatry. When I work heartily for man and not the Lord, I am motivated by grades and reputation. I get consumed with anxiety about what others will think if I don’t maintain a certain standard. Not only that, but what will I think about myself?

I don’t know all the answers when it comes to a faithful approach to productivity, but I have begun to recognize the traps that I fall into. One of those is the idolatry of achievement and reputation as I described above. The other is believing the lie that I am the master of time. If I could only organize each hour perfectly according to the priorities that I have established, then I could lay my head down on the pillow at night fully satisfied. But this mindset encourages us to live contrary to our natures as limited creatures. We are not master manipulators of the minutes of our lives. We are not God! And it also goes against how God sees growth and productivity in our lives. First of all, he is in charge. Yes, we are called to work out our salvation but that is rooted in and empowered by the work that God continually does in us for his good pleasure. (Phil. 2:12-13).

We are the clay and not the potter.

We are the branches and not the vine.

We are the sheep and not the shepherd.

Second, growth is slow. While we’re focused on speed and efficiency, God is calling us to learn from his creation about faithfulness and perseverance over a long period of time. Clay takes time to be molded by the careful and loving hands of the potter. Branches take time to develop and grow until the buds form and fruit appears. Sheep take time to learn their master’s voice and follow his commands. Think about how ridiculous it would be for the potter, the gardener, or the shepherd to stand over his work, hands on hips, impatiently crying out, “Will you just hurry up!” But we look at our lives, our children, and our work like this, as if everything could be microwaveable and should progress onward and upward in an unbroken line.

There’s a fig tree planted in my backyard. We planted it almost five years ago and it still hasn’t borne fruit. Last year it came close. As I observe the tree out of my kitchen window this spring, again putting out buds and then leaves, I think about the patience and kindness of God and I ask for wisdom. Wisdom to realize that I am not a machine but a limited creature who is dependent on the Lord for life, health and breath. Wisdom to see when my work becomes more about me and less about him and those I’m called to serve. With my mind renewed I can then reframe what productivity means. I’m coming to realize that it has much more to do with faith-filled patient work that bears fruit over the long haul.