The year 1637 produced a mass of letters from Rutherford’s pen. If my math is correct, he wrote 204 letters during that year. In these letters he often laments of the severe imbalance between his condition as a perpetually needy and sinful man and the infinite resources of grace that Christ is more than willing to lavish on us. There is no way to make this up. We keep coming to Christ and taking from him, and he keeps giving and giving and giving again.

But I find Christ to be Christ, and that He is far, far, even infinite heavens’ height above men; and that is all our happiness. Sinners can do nothing but make wounds, that Christ may heal them; and make debts, that He may pay them; and make falls, that He may raise them; and make deaths, that He may quicken them; and spin out and dig hells for themselves, that He may ransom them.

God is all sufficient. We can never give something to God that he might be repaid. We can’t impress him. As Rutherford says in another letter, all we have to give him is emptiness and want. And the Lord is not ashamed or unwilling to continually fill us.

Now, I will bless the Lord that ever there was such a thing as the free grace of God, and a free ransom given for sold souls: only, alas! guiltiness maketh me ashamed to apply to Christ, and to think it pride in me to put out my unclean and withered hand to such a Saviour. But it is neither shame nor pride for a drowning man to swim to a rock, nor for a shipbroken soul to run himself ashore upon Christ.

How worthy a savior is Christ! But how little is my love to him in comparison. He is worthy of everything and anything I can give him. He is even worthy of all the suffering I endure for him, for even this comes from his sovereign hand of steadfast love. At the end of the day, we must be content to live in this place of perpetual imbalance. And that is the way it should be, for there is no merit in us, only in Christ.

Wo, wo is me! I have a lover Christ, and yet I want love for Him! I have a lovely and desirable Lord, who is love-worthy, and who beggeth my love and heart, and I have nothing to give Him!

As we think on this imbalance, let it not lead us to inward to despair but upward in worship. We worship a God who is an infinite and unending fountain of grace. We will never drain him of his mercies and we can always boldly apply to his throne for the help we need.