I have been praying a lot for friends lately. Several of my friends are going through some really hard things and I’ve found myself crying out to God in ways I haven’t before.

And I am learning something about how prayer works.

Prayer reveals what you really believe about God. When my friend is left sleepless for many nights in a row caring for her autistic son, is God really good? I have another friend who has been dealing with chronic pain and a daily headache for five years. Her son was just struck with a rare type of lupus. Is God sovereign? Does he really care?

In my most honest moments of prayer I come face to face with these questions and the rawness of it all can throw me off balance.

I come at God with an exasperated, “Seriously!!” and, “Come on! Can’t you give her a break!?”

I don’t understand and I don’t get it. I thought I really believed in God’s goodness and his sovereignty but the hard reality of life on this sin-stained planet causes me to step back and really evaluate what I believe. And then I press into Him even harder because there’s nowhere else to go.

“Simon Peter answered him, ‘Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.'” John 6:68-69