At the end of 2022, while I was contemplating some big changes in my life, a dear friend of mine encouraged me with these words,

“Expect God’s kindness.”

In my contemplation of these changes I had become filled with worry that I wasn’t on the right path, fearful of making a mistake. Being a perfectionist and an overthinker doesn’t help me when it comes to seeking God’s guidance. I tend to see the ideal path as a road that’s hidden in the fog. Am I on it? Am I going the right way? Is God with me in this? But my friend’s words acted as a gentle yet firm corrective for me. If I am sincerely seeking the Lord’s guidance, I should expect his kindness. I should expect him to lead me like the good Shepherd that he is. The counsel of my friend makes me wonder what I have been expecting from God and if that lines up with his character.

“If I am sincerely seeking the Lord’s guidance, I should expect his kindness.”

Many times in prayer, I’ve noticed that I expect a negative answer, or that his answers will always be long in coming. I come to his throne almost as if I’m hoping to twist his arm, instead of falling into his gracious lap. Sometimes I even falsely suspect that God works according to Murphy’s Law – if it can go wrong, it will go wrong. I assume that God will always choose the hardest path for me. That he will always wait decades to save lost loved ones. I pray for the miraculous healing, but do I really expect it to happen?

My expectations reveal who I really believe God to be. If I expect the negative answer or the hard answer, then I really believe that God is stingy and severe. That he is not the good and gracious God that is revealed in Scripture. Now, a good God does say no to our requests, just as a good parent, but what I’m getting at here is the hidden expectations I have concerning God’s disposition toward me. Is it kindness or severity? Indifference or steadfast love?

If we truly know God as our Father, our expectations should align with his character and the gracious salvation he’s given us through Jesus. Because of our adoption into God’s family, as fellow sons and heirs, we have every right to expect what is good from our God. Our dear brother and Savior, Jesus Christ, has earned for us an infinite treasury of merit and untold spiritual blessings! So why is there this inclination to fear and doubt, to assume the worst? I think it comes down to this – my knowledge of God is deficient. I’ve allowed earthly experiences to override what is true. And I’ve succumbed again to the original lie, “God isn’t good.” My mind is in need of a deeper renewal.

For sure, we must not be too hard on ourselves. We are, after all, just dust. And praise God that he knows that and responds in compassion. (See Psalm 103:13-14) He is good and full of goodness toward us. He is not the forever-frowning taskmaster, eyes full of disappointment.

Let us build ourselves up with the truth of who our God is. Let us scour the pages of Scripture and absorb into our souls the picture of our gracious Father, our glorious King, and our unconquerable Savior. How might things change, our prayers change, our affections change, if the spiritual inclination of our hearts was to believe and to expect good in accordance with the goodness of our God? For the eyes of faith look down at our feet where we see the solid Rock. They look up and see the great cloud of witnesses cheering us on. And sometimes, like Stephen, these eyes of faith can also see our glorious elder brother, the Lord Jesus Christ at the right hand of the Father, interceding on our behalf.

Lord, let this vision change our hearts and our expectations.