The Lord has been very kind to me in recent days to bless me with many sweet reminders of his love. While some of these have come through his creation, with the springtime bursts of greens, yellows and pinks, many of these have come in a surprising way – through seeing the devastation of sin in the pages of Scripture and in my own heart. I’ve been taking a class on the historical books of the Old Testament, Joshua through Esther. I’ve been focusing most of my time though in Judges, especially Judges 19, which if you haven’t read it or don’t remember, is probably the darkest episode in all of Israel’s history. This is the story of the Levite and his concubine. It begins with troubles in their relationship but ends with her rape and murder at the hands of a Benjamite mob and then the brutal dismemberment of her body by the Levite. I may write more about what I’ve learned from this chapter; it is truly profound. But this post is about a passage I read in Samuel Rutherford’s letters this morning. It reminded me that sometimes our greatest delight in God comes after we take a good hard look at our own sin. Only in looking directly into that blackness can the brilliance of God’s mercy and condescending love shine its brightest.

In this letter, Rutherford is writing to his friend, the Lady Boyd:

I have been somewhat nearer the Bridegroom; but when I draw nigh, and see my vileness, for shame I would be out of His presence again. But yet, desire of His soul-refreshing love putteth blushing me under an arrest. Oh, what am I, so loathsome a burden of sin, to stand beside such a beautiful and holy Lord, such a high and lofty One who inhabiteth eternity! But since it pleaseth Christ to condescend to such an one as I, let shamefacedness be laid aside, and lose itself in His condescending love.

What is surprising to Rutherford, and should stun us as well, is that we are not destroyed when drawing near to God through Christ. He has made a way for vile sinners to come into his presence, completely cleansed and made righteous by the blood of the Lamb. We should never take this for granted, but we should also not be ashamed to draw near. Following Rutherford’s advice, we should marvel at the truth that Christ, the true and holy one, would condescend to us in grace and mercy. Yes, lose yourself in that condescending love.